Back from my long weekend in Oxford, and getting back into the swing of Bristol. Being away gave me some time to think on and off about my big question, to talk to Dave and some people at Wycliffe about it, which was really helpful. Realizing that I am friends with lots of wise theologians! Conversations have been really productive and good for me. Even though I hated a lot of my three years studying Theology I am realizing now that I do miss having deeper conversations about issues (the ones that matter), wrestling with them, getting people's studied and thought through opinions on them. It has been good.
Ever since becoming a Christian when I was 16/17, I have struggled with the issue of how to share the gospel with others; my family are not Christian and my friends in high school were not Christian either, and I think it is fair to say that I have spent most of my life moving in non-Christian circles. I have never known how to share my faith in a way that wasn't awkward for me or them, or in a way that was instantly disregarded or just generally a little bit weak either in content or presentation. I often found myself pushed to shy away from the topic. When I went to university, in many ways I became reactionary against the often unhelpful approach of many hard line conservative evangelicals in my college and in the Oxford CUs, and picked up the mentality that evangelism is about lifestyle and not words, that it is about living out a distinct and different kind of life and character that people notice and are prompted to ask questions about because they want what you have (radical love, grace, compassion, joy, freedom). I inadvertently subscribed to the view that proactively preaching the gospel with words is unnecessary. People will ask questions in response to your behaviour (your good works, your faith that shines through), and then you will answer them, and that's evangelism.
I carried that into threesixty in September, with all my theological and personal baggage, and in the past few months I have really began to question and wonder about my assumptions. I always hope that we are embodying something of the gospel and Jesus' loving example with the kids and people that we work with everyday, that we are evangelizing with our lives and not just in an abstract way through empty words. And we are cautious about the issue of religion in the Academy and local community, thinking that we mustn't impose our values and lifeview on people, that we must be careful not to give people a preach. But I have wondered whether this approach is enough. I have wondered whether there is a very real gap, a lack, where preaching the gospel - with words - is necessary. Important. Vital.
What I mean is that as Christians we aren't perfect. We mess up just as much as anyone else, not just in the sense of the mistakes we make but also in the sense of the things that are off kilter within us. We are all imperfect, we are all sinners.
In an ideal world we would all be able to evangelize purely through lifestyle and wait for people to ask the questions, so that we don't cause discomfort or awkwardness or tread on sensitive ground by speaking uncomfortable gospel truths. We could all let our works shine out of our faith and people would know and believe in the gospel. But in reality cases of that are very rare. I can think of 3 people I have met in my entire life who have in some sense evangelized to me through their distinct character and lifestyle, provoking me to question them about how I can have what they have without actively initiating a conversation about the gospel themselves (incidentally, I met all these people after having become a Christian, and it was more about recognizing Jesus and the work of the gospel in them). But the more I think about it, the more I am realizing that this isn't the norm. I wish it was, and I wish all Christians could be that inspiring. But we grow and change and fail and try again, and the Christian life is a long and arduous growing journey. I am beginning to think about reasons why we need to preach the gospel and share our faith with words, why our good works and actions are not enough.
Firstly, like I said, we aren't always good! We mess up, and if we are waiting for people to notice something different and attractive and good about us and ask us questions so that we are tell them about why we are the way we are and do the things we do, then we might spend the rest of our lives waiting in futility. I am beginning to think that that is what is going to happen to me, because I don't think I will ever be that type of person who is almost saintly, inspiring, and radically free.
Secondly, people don't necessarily connect good works with religion. Some people don't feel the need to ask more questions about why a person is such an inspiring example, they don't think there is any deeper driving force. You don't have to be Christian or religious to be a social activist, to be a moral exemplar, to be extraordinarily happy person. People might not know to ask the question why, or might not know the gospel at all so might have no inkling of a need to make the connection.
I think the gospel is so much more than a reason for morality, it is more than an abstract belief system. It cuts deep into the core of the human condition and need, into the meaning of life and the universe. If we genuinely believe that Jesus and the gospel are central to people's salvation and well-being in the complete and holistic sense, then I believe that we need to share this with people in a way they will understand, so that they can have a chance to respond to it. And this must be with actions and words. One cannot be separated from the other. We must live the gospel and that includes speaking about it.
I find a helpful summary from Dave's friend and mentor at Wycliffe, "There is more to Christian ministry than just an articulation of the gospel, but I would affirm that it is not less than that."
Besides, we talk about things that we are passionate about and that mean something to us, that have been helpful to us. When we want another person to benefit from the good that we get from something, we talk to them about it.
The question is not then whether or not we should preach the gospel (with words), but how we should do it. We all know that there are unhelpful, harmful, unloving, empty and irrevelant ways to evangelize, but what does an effective, truthful, loving, contemporary and appropriate way to evangelize look like?
That's what I want to find out. I was reading a bit of 'Chasing the Dragon' today, and was so struck by Jackie Pullinger's retelling of the conversions she witnesses after her proclaiming of the gospel. I found myself thinking - What is missing? What is missing in the way I am sharing my faith? Do I believe that the gospel has that kind of power? Do I know and trust God and his message that much, to share the gospel in that way with that kind of power?
I feel similarly reading the book of Acts. I am just completely blown away. There was no sense of being hesitant to speak the truth of the gospel out, no fear of imposing a lifeview, such faith on the part of the apostles in the words and God they were proclaiming. I find myself thinking again - what is missing here?
So I'm thinking, in starting to grapple with this question, I am going to start with the book of Acts. I think we have so much to learn from the early Christian community, and a lot to think about in terms of what we can take from them into the time and place that we are now.
More thoughts forthcoming.
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