The importance of being earnest

I was having lunch with an amazing lady I know from church this afternoon. We talked a bit about Christmas preparations, Christmas cards, presents, and so on. I mentioned that we liked to write proper messages in all our Christmas cards, rather than the usual "Dear x", "From y" drill.

It got me thinking about honesty. The reason I still write Christmas cards, and cards in general, is that it gives me a chance to do something which I wish I could do more in everyday life - to be honest in telling the person how important they are and how much they mean to me. To be able to thank them and tell them I love them.  Things that we would struggle to say face to face because of social convention or awkwardness. Things that are very true but that we often leave unsaid, to our and others' disadvantage.

When I was sending this lady an email afterwards to thank her for how wonderful she was, I was struck again by how important I think this is. I wish I did it more and more fully. I wish I could be more honest and authentic in the everyday rhythms of my life.

I think for some people, this can be the difference between life and real life. Encouragement is so rare in this unpredictable, uncertain world, full of tragedies and blips. Things are so complicated and the good can be so hard to hold onto.

Dave and I had an argument yesterday. In the course of it he said, "Why didn't you tell me this a week ago? Have you been feeling this way all this time? Why didn't you just tell me about it then?"

Reflecting on this now, I wish I was more honest. I should have been honest about how I felt, rather than keeping it inside, only to ruin. It would have been a step towards overcoming a problem. As in the case of 'thank you's and 'I love you's, I should have been honest in this situation of conflict and misunderstanding. I was afraid it would tear down, but it would have built up.

I guess there is a reason why honesty is disarming. Why the truth can be so affirming and life-giving. Why being authentic is something that most of us strive towards.

So here's to being honest and authentic.