I approached a man I guessed was from Hong Kong while working on the stand yesterday. As usual, I asked whether he had time to hear more about Toybox and our work. Instead of answering my question, he asked me where I was from.
"Hong Kong," I said.
"Are you studying?" he asked.
"No. I work here."
"You work here?" he cried. He tutted. "Let me tell you something." He moved the flyer I had give him away. "Don't sell to me, I don't like people selling to me."
Then he proceeded to dole out lengthy advice on what I should be doing with my life and career for about 5 minutes before leaving the stand abruptly.
It was incredibly rude and pretty judgemental. I have to say I was quite affected by it. The crux of what this guy said to me was that I should be doing a PhD in the university degree I got, then going into research and becoming a specialist. "Then one day, when you are a specialist and people ask you for advice and expertise, God will use you."
Sadly, I have heard this all before. It's nothing new, and I have received this spiel from so many people from my hometown - many of whom have virtually been strangers to me, who have seen fit to weigh in to my life and tell me that everything I have done is wrong. But I rarely get it in such an explicit way from someone from.Hong Kong who claims to be a Christian.
I don't know why so many people from Hong Kong seem to love telling me what to do with my life. That what I am doing is wrong. That I should be pursuing an affluent lifestyle, a lucrative career, or academic prestige and credentials. I am not doing these things and I really believe in the path I have chosen. I don't doubt myself when harangued by these views. But it just gets annoying and very old.
Never mind that these mindsets are counter-gospel, but what I don't understand is where people find the presumption to give someone they don't know this kind of arrogant judgement on their life choices. I don't know whether this occurs as much in other cultures.
If I'm completely honest, sometimes I am apprehensive about meeting people from Hong Kong here in the UK. I expect this kind of unwelcome judgement from them, this scorn of my choices to try and live in solidarity with the poor and needy, to live out of the love of Jesus. Sadly this happens too often for me to feel like this anxiety is unfounded.
It's the reason why I don't like going home. Who likes feeling like they are looked down on all the time? I am proud of my choices though. I am not ashamed of Jesus. As I said, it just gets old and wearisome.
I was reflecting on Jesus' words, "A prophet is not without honour except in his own town and in his own home." Maybe this is just the way it is. It certainly has always been for me.
I listened to an interview on the radio a while ago with a Pakistani lady who recently immigrated to the UK. She said that she actually preferred living here, even if she couldn't speak English well and didn't have much involvement in the community. She said that her neighbours were kind and warm to her. At home in Pakistan, she was looked down on and gossiped about. Here, she wasn't judged and under pressure to conform to the standards they imposed. She didn't like being with other Pakistani women there.
I really resonated with what this lady said. I know it sounds awful, to say you would rather not be with your own kin. That you are anxious about being with people of your ethnicity. I don't know if anyone else will understand this, but it is how I have felt for a long time.
And I think that Jesus understands it. I hope and pray he does, anyway.
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