For the Christian part of me

For the Christian part of me by Joel McKerrow

"For the Christian part of me

Not for the Christ but for the Christian

I am sorry

For when I look at the book and look at my life

When I look at the Christ and look at the church

The two are as black and white

So for the way I have silenced you with words I thought were the only true

For every preacher that has yelled at you

Every Bible that’s been quoted at you

Every megaphone that has damned you 

Every friend that has judged you

Every parent that has guilted you

I am sorry

For my brothers who say that God hates fags

Oh how I wish they were not my brothers

Sometimes it is easier to love your enemies than your kin

So to every boy who sliced wrists ‘cause he didn’t fit within

No matter how much he pushed and pulled did not fit in his skin

Was told he was sin

That demons lurked within

I am sorry

You are not broken because you are gay

We are all broken because we are human

Because we treat each other this way

The way we judge by the words that were spoken

By the burkha you were cloaked in

By the crystals you believed in

By the gender you born in

So to every person I did not converse with but tried to convert instead

I’m sorry for the way I couldn’t see past these glasses

Sorry for the way I thought my pastor spoke the absolute truth

Didn’t know he was broken just like the rest of us

Thought he was the best of us

For the arrogance I thought was confidence

When I thought I was right and you were wrong
We were good and you were bad

We were light and you were dark

I took a pen, drew a line before us

Took some bricks, built a wall between us

Stood on a pedestal, crafted a cross into a pulpit and yelled at you from within it

I am sorry

And to the lady who was beaten as I sang songs within my church

To the addict who overdosed as I dined with Christian friends

To the beggar who needs money as my money built church buildings

To the boat person arriving on these shores of hope and hopelessness

To the teenager who is pregnant with abortion as an option

I am sorry we have yelled at you, made you feel so alone

We should have put an arm around you and walked with you home

Whether it was a pram you pushed before you that day or just the will to keep on walking 

So for the wars that were fought in the name of the Christ

And the swords that were swung in the name of his love

The bombs that exploded, the bullets sang hymns

The tanks marched on like good Christian soldiers 

Who prayed every day for their God to be with them

As their brothers they fought and their sisters they shot

Their sons in the flame

Did we not recognise they all prayed the same

For this God to be with them, for this God to protect

Oh how this God must have wept

If only we’d listened to the prayer of the other

If only we’d seen that he was our brother

Whether on his knees with his hands to the East

Whether yarmulka-wearing or burkha-bearing

Whether sitting beneath the bodhi tree or kissing the feet of some saint celebrity

We lifted the rifle to shoot the enemy 

The cross-bearing flag to show our allegiance to be 

We did not hear the sound whispered from the cross that day

Forgive them, Father, for they know not what they do

We forgot that the Christ we claim to follow walked the talk of non-violence

Ate the stale bread of silence

Stood up against the systems of military might

Of fear and oppression

Of bigoted aggression

This is my confession

So with every part of me I would keep following this Jesus 

And the life that he lives and the love that he gives

Yet every part of me because of this history would deny that I am a Christian

To put high walls between these brothers and I

But who am I to be bigoted about the bigoted

And who am I to condemn those who condemn 

If I keep the name Christian, perhaps I can speak to them

Remind them of this Jesus of Mother T and Martin King

Of Mandela and Tutu

Of that great man from Assisi

Yes, there is still some pride left in my ancestry

And for all else, I say

I am sorry

I am sorry."