3 months til the big day, and I find myself here in this place, tired. Long distance is a sucker, everyone knows that. I find myself drained. Spent a weekend and bank holiday Monday with Dave, and was hit really hard again on the train journey back to Bristol. I really miss my fiance. And long distance really does suck.
We have a lot lined up for us in our separate lives these next three months, but I am mentally, emotionally and spiritually willing for them to be over in the blink of an eye. I am sure every couple feels this when they are in the engagement limbo, but truth be told it really is indescribably rubbish being apart and having to juggle the stresses of life and preparation for marriage when it is difficult negotiating time to spend quality time together. There are things that have been good for us to learn - communication, appreciating time together, developing as individuals as well as a couple, etc. But I feel that at this juncture in our relationship and engagement, all we want - need?- to do is be together. We miss each other so much. It really sucks.
Ah, a blogpost whiny and negative as ever. I apologise. I am just tired, and just thinking of the weekends lined up and things I have to do drains me. I am running 10k on Sunday and have literally no idea how I am going to get out of it alive (my training has been lax and I really am not an athletic person). And generally the days can feel empty when your heart is somewhere else. Life can feel such a downer sometimes.
There. A bit (or rather a lot) of honesty for my illusory readers out there. If you are reading this, I am sorry! Go after this and do something that will make you feel good...
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